Kyon?

Kitne log marte hai duniya me

Jo marna nahi chahte the..

Aur kitne log marna chahkar bhi

Zinda hain ab tak...

Nobody reads

Nobody reads my blog.

So I treat it like a personal diary.

If you read me some day...

You'll know me!

Last script

It was the last script of the day. I thought it would take lesser time to edit then to explain what to change. I went on the doc but didn't have access. I requested for the same.

It was 5 minutes to 6:30 when the doctor's assistant called. 

I said I will be a bit late. May be another 15 mins? She said "okay".

I took out my clothes and started changing. Meanwhile Shrutika had given me access. I started editing on the phone.

Another 2 sentences and the phone rang again. It was the doctor's second assistant. I told him I got a call just 5 mins ago. I will be there. He argued. I got irritated.

I finished my editing. Changed. Tried starting my scooter but it took 5 more minutes. Another 10 minutes to reach. And I reached at 6:50 instead of 6:45.

Bammmm.. the doctor was upset. I was standing in her cabin in front of her. She was teaching her kid.

Said her staff called to cancel the second time as I was late. Her staff had called to cancel my appointments 3 times before this week.

I was in the middle of an implant abd totally dependent on her for the next step.

She continued teaching her child. 

I argued that I waited more than 30-40 minutes even after an appointment so mahy times and a 15 min delay makes her cancel the appointment?

She continued teaching her child.

I asked if she will treat me? She said only on her time, not according to mine.

I asked her to refer me to another doctor but she refused. I asked if another doctor can do it? But she refused to answer.

I asked for a refund and she refused.

I left.

Went to another doctor who said she can definitely help but would need my xray and the details of the implant as in the company name.

I called the old doctor but she was in no mood to help. She blatantly denied giving these details. Said it was confidential.

I again argued that isn't it the patient's right to know what has been implanted in their body?

I went to her clinic. She came rushing threatening to get the police. She said she would sue me as 3 of her patients ran away because I was asking for my details.

I was asking for a receipt of Rs 66000 that I paid her for the first stage of implant.

She forced me to sign a document saying that she has given all the details.

I gave up and signed it.

She started telling her staff how much she helped me. That she was the one to diagnose my trigeminal neuralgia. That she replied to my messages even in the night.!!

Wait... what? I thought doctors are'l supposed to diagnose diseases? Doctors are supposed to respond if a patient is in pain. No?

Anyways. I had gratitude for her for treating me so far so I said I am thankful to her and I said I am sorry that this ended up like this.

But she replied with a "you'll repay for this"

I said same to you and left!

Kisi din aisa bhi hoga

Kisi din aisa bhi hoga...

Samandar kinaare ghanto baithungi

Beparwah... besudh ghumungi

Bina deadline ke ek kitaab likhungi

Chap jayegi.. toh khoob bikegi

Award lene Delhi jaungi

New York jaungi

Inaam ke paise kaafi honge jeevan bhar ke liye

Fir bhi jaha thehrungi... waha likhungi..

Koi chehre se nahi janega..

Par naam sabko pata hoga..

Ek din tehalte tehalte kisi ke haath me apni kitaab dekhkar sukoon ki muskan ke saath saas lungi..

Aur isi sukoon bhari muskan ke saath chali jaungi ek din.

Do kitaabein reh jayengi...

Bina deadline ke likhi hui..

Tehalte tehalte besudh ghumte huye likhi hui...

Aaj bhi padh raha hoga koi wo kitaabein..

Google karke dekh raha hai hoga

Kaun hai ye lekhak

Jo bas do kitabein likh gaya

Bina deadline ke...

Khulkar jee gaya...

Alone

I cross the street alone

I get my gifts on my own

I cook my own favourite food

I take care of my own swinging mood

I plan to go on solo trips

यात्रा

यात्रा वृतांत कितने सुखद होते हैं... पिंजरे से किसी को खुले आसमान में उड़ते देखने जैसा...

जो जीवन आप नहीं जी सकते, वह किसी और को जीता हुआ देखने जैसा...

बहुत दूर

मैंने कभी शराब नहीं पी। मतलब.. पी जाने जैसी नहीं पी। दोस्तों से थोड़ी बहुत चखी है बस। पर देखा है फ़िल्मों में.. बहुत तलब लगने पर एक घूंट पीने के बाद कैसे गट-गट पी जाते हैं लोग पूरी बोतल!

ठीक वैसी ही लगती हैं कुछ-कुछ किताबें.... लगता है एक घूंट में पूरी पढ़ लें। 

तुम्हारी ज़्यादातर किताबें ऐसी ही हैं। 

पता नहीं क्यों 'बहुत दूर कितना दूर होता है' टालती रही थी अब तक ..

मुझे इस तरह की किताबें ही पसंद है। Immature पर अपने वाक्यों में गहरी बात कह देने वाली। 

नॉन फिक्शन बड़े लोगों के recommendation पर पढ़ने लगी हूँ। ऐसे एक घूंट में नहीं पढ़ पाती वो किताबें। उनके लिए ठहर कर इत्मीनान से कुछ लिख भी नहीं पाती। 

बस पढ़ते हुए उनके उद्धरण सही लगते हैं। तुम्हारे उद्धरणों की तरह दिल को नहीं छूते। 

और फिर भूल जाती हूँ उन्हें। मैं बदलती नहीं। वही रहती हूँ। 

अटॉमिक हैबिट पढ़ने के बाद भी मेरी आदतें ज्यों की त्यों रहती हैं। 

Psychology of money पढ़ने के बाद थोड़ा बदलाव आया। बस अब किसी की liabilities देखकर उसके assets का अंदाजा नहीं लगाती। अपने assets पर ध्यान देती हूं। पर उससे ज़्यादा कुछ नहीं। पर यही बहुत बड़ी बात नहीं है?

अब लग रहा है बदला है इस किताब ने मुझे। शायद बड़े लोग सही कहते होंगे। 

Rich Dad Poor Dad से भी कुछ इसी तरह का असर है और कुछ ख़ास नहीं ।

पर ये एक घूंट में पढ़ने वाली किताबें... ये साथ रहती हैं मानों। इनके किरदार को महसूस किया जा सकता है। 

और किसी और को महसूस कर पाना कितना मुश्किल है न?